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 06-09-06 - 12:26 AM 
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Fleeing from the madness of the http://blinkynet.net jungle
Blinky the Shark <no.spam@box.invalid> stumbled into news:alt.www.webmaster
and said:
Please do let me hi-jack the off-topicness of this thread ...
Extremely important
===================
advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives,
girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in
general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in
June/July this year...
LIST OF RULES
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the
newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World
Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you
fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be
totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any
exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose
it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind,
as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If
you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on
right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to
the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a
refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you
expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up
the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the
fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please
do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the
games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am,
unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is
losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll
win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and
I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about
football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead
to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me
during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the
halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one"
game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time
together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen
them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related
parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a
game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as
important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you
have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we
can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World
Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this
comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League,
etc etc.
Thank you for your co-operation.
--
William Tasso
http://williamtasso.com/words/what-is-usenet.asp
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06-09-06 - 12:26 AM
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"William Tasso" <SpamBlocked@tbdata.com> wrote in message
news:op.tapqxlvkm9g4qz-wnt@tbdata.com...
> Fleeing from the madness of the http://blinkynet.net jungle
> Blinky the Shark <no.spam@box.invalid> stumbled into
> news:alt.www.webmaster
> and said:
>
> Please do let me hi-jack the off-topicness of this thread ...
>
> Extremely important
> ===================
>
> advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives,
> girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in
> general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in
> June/July this year...
>
> LIST OF RULES
>
> 1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the
> newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World
> Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you
> fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be
> totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
>
> 2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any
> exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will
> lose
> it (your eye).
>
> 3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind,
> as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If
> you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on
> right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to
> the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
>
> 4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a
> refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you
> expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick
> up
> the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.
>
> 5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the
> fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please
> do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the
> games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am,
> unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
>
> 6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is
> losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry,
> they'll
> win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and
> I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about
> football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only
> lead
> to a break up or divorce.
>
> 7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me
> during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the
> halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one"
> game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend
> time
> together".
>
> 8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have
> seen
> them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
>
> 9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related
> parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
> a) I will not go,
> b) I will not go, and
> c) I will not go.
>
> 10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch
> a
> game, we will be there in a flash.
>
> 11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as
> important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you
> have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we
> can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
>
> 12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World
> Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this
> comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier
> League,
> etc etc.
>
> Thank you for your co-operation.
>
>
I'm going to print this out and give it to my missus!
--
Paul Watt
http://www.paulwatt.info
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06-09-06 - 12:27 AM
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On Tue, 06 Jun 2006 08:25:59 +0100, "William Tasso"
<SpamBlocked@tbdata.com> scrawled:
> advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives,
> girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in
> general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in
> June/July this year...
>
> LIST OF RULES
>
> 1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the
> newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World
> Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you
> fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be
> totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention
Not over here. All the boy in my life cares about is that I can
intelligently discuss the Red Sox with him (and, thanks to him, I now
read the sports section daily for the important stuff - baseball and
football - and am fully cognizent of the relative merits of the
various sports writers and columnists.)
--
MGW
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even
when you take into account Hofstadter's Law. - Douglas Hofstadter
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06-09-06 - 12:27 AM
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On Tue, 6 Jun 2006 13:17:53 +0100, Dylan Parry <usenet@dylanparry.com>
scrawled:
> MGW wrote:
>
>
> Oh well. I hope I'm not alone here, but no one on this planet could ever
> get me to give the slightest toss about any sport whatsoever. Everything
> about watching sport on TV (or live, it doesn't matter) is of no
> interest to me, and I would rather go to sleep than watch any of the
> World Cup matches.
I used to be like that, except for a little interest in baseball. Then
I became a single mom with a football-obsessed son. One year, I told
him that since I was forcing him to learn stuff he wasn't interested
in, I would learn about football. I still have no wish to watch an
entire game, but did learn enough that when he calls me over for a
great play "you gotta watch the replay," I'm usually able to
appreciate it. And it's practially impossible to live in New England
without being somewhat obsessed with the Red Sox. The local joke that
isn't much of one is that if a major world crisis were to break out in
late September, the front page headline would be "Sox Win Playoffs"
(WW III started - see p. 3 for coverage.)
--
MGW
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even
when you take into account Hofstadter's Law. - Douglas Hofstadter
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06-09-06 - 12:27 AM
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On Tue, 6 Jun 2006 13:17:53 +0100, Dylan Parry wrote
(in article <i97al995q09z.dlg@dylanparry.com> ):
> MGW wrote:
>
>
> Oh well. I hope I'm not alone here, but no one on this planet could ever
> get me to give the slightest toss about any sport whatsoever. Everything
> about watching sport on TV (or live, it doesn't matter) is of no
> interest to me, and I would rather go to sleep than watch any of the
> World Cup matches.
Oh no Dylan, you are definitely not alone! Neither I nor my husband have
even the faintest interest in football, or the Olympics, or any sport at all
.
Can we get other people to believe this? No. We say, well, we aren't
interested, and they say, but I must tell you about the amazing goal scored
by ... and our eyes glaze over. We also don't have a television so
thankfully we miss the worst excesses. You will be amazed to learn that we
do not have flags waving out of our car either, although we thought of
inventing a football-free zone one.
--
Sally in Shropshire, UK
bed and breakfast near Ludlow: http://www.stonybrook-ludlow.co.uk
Burne-Jones/William Morris window in Shropshire church:
http://www.whitton-stmarys.org.uk
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