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Final Website Critique Please.
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| RobertB52 2006-03-25, 3:39 am |
| http://www.Robert-Bonner.com
I would like to have my website critiqued again, I have adhered to the changes
requested, as well as I have implemented more features and cleaned thing's up a
bit.
I would like to get any suggestions, requests, or other advice if at all
possible. Also, I would like to get feedback on my current portfolio. Is it
enough, or do I need more pieces? If you are going to critique my portfolio,
please include your website/portfolio URL so I can see that you know the field
and what you're talking about, and aren?t some random person who has not been
in the field for long. I don?t mean to sound rude, but I need professional
advice not newcomer.
Thank you in advance, I will check back on this topic frequently.
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| Chris (mudbubble) 2006-03-25, 3:39 am |
| Robert,
best of luck to you - your site has not changed for the better in my opinion - i wont discuss
aesthetics with you -graphics, use of flash, none of that - but you claim to be professional and
that's a big talk. Yet, the content on your site - especially the "about me" page is riddled with
typos, poor syntax and confusing terminology that, to be honest, will (and possibly already has)
turned away potential clients. It reads like 9th grade level writing and is extrememly unprofessional.
may I quote 3 of the worst I found:
"When I got into this field of work, I found out that people were being made to pay anywhere from
one thousand to fifteen thousand dollar’s for a website, like any entrepreneur I got rather
interested and decided to have a look at the field."
Holy run-on scentence Batman! Besides that, who is being "forced" to pay? Is there a gun pointed to
their heads?
As an entrepreneur you became interested in what exactly? It reads like you became interested in
forcing people to pay too much. Honest, it does.
"I understand that making a very flashy, over the top extravagant website take’s a lot of skill and
dedication; however making something that’s simple, easy to use, and is appealing to the eye but
doesn’t throw the user off edge take’s a professional."
So, again, run-on scentences gone amuck - but moreso, you are clearly not writing to a level that is
at all clear to the reader as to what your point actually is. This "scentence" tells me you people
of skill and dedication are not professional. That's how it reads.
I'm gonna stop there with the creative writing class. I see bad writing in almost every page and
every paragraph throughout your site. You use apostrophes every where you shouldn't and that only
shows a client that you do not have a basic grasp of the english language. I gave you advice in your
original thread about seeking an editor to help you write the content for your site - instead you
added some orange to some text and chose a font that looks horrible and is barely legible on my 2
different screens.
I am being honest and up front because you come across as claiming you are professional and only
want professional people to judge you - that is, in my book, very arrogant. Your past replies here
referencing Hitlar and murderous sprees didn't exactly spread warm and fuzzy feeling either.
I seriously wish you good luck in your "firm" - oh, yeah "firm" is a commercial partnership of two
or more persons, especially when unincorporated. You my friend are a "sole proprietor" or a "d.b.a".
one more bit of advice, from your "services" page:
"My curent rate is 50$ to 75$ an hour depending on the job and the urgency of it's completion. Here
is a very rough chart to explain how my system works."
Never list your prices like that - it's bad business and can lead to price fixing. But even worse,
why would a potential client read that and allow you to quote up to $75 per hour (it should read "an
hour"). If I wanted to buy an apple and the person behind the cash register said its cost was $.25 -
$.75 - I would give them $.25. Understand? Clients want to know your hourly rate or request an
overall estimate with a breakdown of what each element of the project will cost. Anything else, in
my opinion is unprofessional.
Affiliate Program:
"My affiliate program is a great way to make a little extra money on the side, all you need to do is
refer business to me. Paying jobs get's you 20% of the total, that's 200$ for every one thousand
dollar's I make. So if you bring in a job to me that will cost the individual 200$, you make 40$
just for referring him or her to my place of business."
"Also, if you're a company or small business that needs a website produced, and you're willing to
keep a permanent advertisement on your website for me I'll nock off 30% of the total order. So if
your total order is 1000$ you only pay 700$! It's that simple, and it doesn't cost you a thing! The
ad will go at the bottom of the screen near the Copyright and will not have any sort of graphic what
so ever - it'll just be text."
So you are willing to:
A. Give 20% of the total amount of the job to anyone who helps you land the job AND if the client
says you can add a text link back to your own site from their site, you will take an additional 30%
off their bill? Seriously? You do realize how much money that is? That is a loss for most people. In
fact a huge loss. You do want to make money right? You do realize developers of website can, in most
cases, add a credit with link for.....free....right?
I'm telling you this because it all sound extremely unprofessional, even moreso from somebody who is
claiming to be oh so professional and out to save the world from those who force their clients to
pay thousands of dollars for over the top flashy websites that require skill and extravagance.
Again take this as constructive criticism that you requested.
******************************************
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RobertB52 wrote:
> http://www.Robert-Bonner.com
>
> I would like to have my website critiqued again, I have adhered to the changes
> requested, as well as I have implemented more features and cleaned thing's up a
> bit.
>
> I would like to get any suggestions, requests, or other advice if at all
> possible. Also, I would like to get feedback on my current portfolio. Is it
> enough, or do I need more pieces? If you are going to critique my portfolio,
> please include your website/portfolio URL so I can see that you know the field
> and what you're talking about, and aren?t some random person who has not been
> in the field for long. I don?t mean to sound rude, but I need professional
> advice not newcomer.
>
> Thank you in advance, I will check back on this topic frequently.
>
>
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| RobertB52 2006-03-25, 6:32 am |
| I was never a good writer, can you help me with this? Yeah I understand that it
is grammatically incorrect, but I'm not an english teacher so can you please
help with it? Fix the error's, I would really appreciate it. I'm trying to
learn, most of the work that I have done which is professional was for other
companies. They gave me the text, and some media so I could design it, I never
thought up the stuff myself. So, can you please help?
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| RobertB52 2006-03-25, 6:32 am |
| Alright, check back now, tell me how that text is.
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| Chris (mudbubble) 2006-03-25, 6:32 pm |
| MUCH better. It is much shorter too - people will not want to sit and read large blocks of text - so
short and sweet is the key.
******************************************
RobertB52 wrote:
> Alright, check back now, tell me how that text is.
| |
| RobertB52 2006-03-25, 6:32 pm |
| Originally posted by: Newsgroup User
MUCH better. It is much shorter too - people will not want to sit and read
large blocks of text - so
short and sweet is the key.
******************************************
RobertB52 wrote:
> Alright, check back now, tell me how that text is.
Alright awesome, thank you. I looked around on what other firms were doing,
and after about 300 I found bits and pieces that I wanted to use. Is there
anything else that I should alter?
I kept the flash very minimal, yes it's the same as the HTML except that it
has motion as well as some life to it. Plus, if the HTML version loads slow
for dial up people, they can go to the slow connection area and they won't have
to wait when they click on a new page. It shouldn't be slow, but if it is they
have that option.
The fast speed connection version is 229KB and the slow speed connection is
32KB, it may not be required but it's an alternative.
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| alanwallace4 2006-03-25, 6:32 pm |
| Hi,
Can i point out a couple of things i noticed as well, in a constructive manner.
Firstly, when i hover over "frequently asked questions" at the bottom of your
screen it is not visible so the color needs changing.
I like the splash of orange that has been added. The orange page titles though
are very hard to read, maybe use a larger size or make the current one in Bold.
And the scroll bar maybe make the bar itself match the colour of the rest of
it.
The page title for the Contact page is in a different font to the rest of the
page titles, and , furthermore, is using a serif font when the rest of the site
is using sans.
When I click on "About Me" and then click on "news" i end up viewing a page
which just says "contact".
As you say, maybe your grammar isnt too hot. One thing i noticed was that
under your banner you haev "Been in Business since April of 2000" I think
"Established 2000" sounds a bit more professional .
I noticed that your text was selectable, not sure if that wasintentional or
not. Just thought id make you aware of it.
And to round it off, there's a spell check option in flash which you can use
when you need to.
Cheers
Alan
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| RobertB52 2006-03-25, 6:32 pm |
| Thanks alan,
I'm sorry to say, the font on there is all the same for page titles... It's
just that contact is a bit more crisp, I don't know why.
With the contact page coming up when you click back on news, I don't know what
to say, I think it's a bug of some sort. I would really like to get it fixed,
but I don't know how lol... Something's super wrong...
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| RobertB52 2006-03-25, 10:34 pm |
| Oh how odd... lol I thought flash was supposed to imbed the font? I'll go imbed them....
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| alanwallace4 2006-03-25, 10:34 pm |
| Ok, i can see them all now. Theyre all the same font.
As ive said, you may want to consider changing the font to a sans font to run
in line with the rest of the site.
And one last thing, the page titles need aligning with each other as if you
click through the pages you will see theyre all off.
Cheers
Alan
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| RobertB52 2006-03-25, 10:34 pm |
| Alright, It's all fixed. The problem with switching between page's and seeing
a blank "contact" as well as the missing font, they are also all aligned
perfectly now. Thank you for that bit of insight, I would have seriously had
troubble if that error wasn't fixed...
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| RobertB52 2006-03-27, 3:40 am |
| Anything else I should change?
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| artscreations 2006-04-02, 10:29 pm |
| Robert, it took me 2 or 3 minutes before I even realized what you do.
There is nothing on your splash, and home page that lets someone know that you
do websites.
I shouldn't have to click on the services page, and start reading there to
figure out that you are a web designer.
Change you home page title robert bonner means nothing to someone looking for
web design.
Your visitors should know what you do, whether it be selling pottery to
creating websites.
Massive text changes are needed, and graphics, that tell people what you do.
hth
Art
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